me
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yuhua
girl turning 19 on 26/3/05
typical teenager
loves updating her blog
loves reading other people's blogs
i actually don't mind reading books
i love shopping
new bagpack for school
pretty softball bat
many many clothes
my own house
car
nice ring
new computer
many many caps
team bag
teva sandels
new mizuno softball
many feeder players to join vipers
new shoes
new boots
:: watch all the movies i missed ::
:: finish my revision ::
:: find prince charming ::
:: have a room to myself ::
:: be independent ::
:: be a good daughter ::
:: good results ::
:: get my driver's license ::
:: blank cheque ::
:: remove wisdom tooth ::
:: meet elijah wood ::
:: be happy for all eternity ::
josh 04a2
faizal
benja
andre
my new blog
fave songs/lyrics
Dionne 03a1
Baoyue
Tingren
Shawn
yalan
Guolin
mel
jasmine softball
elda
timmy
patsy
yuhui
yeli others
layz
geokz
bing
nadzi
nat
serene
ros
yuen mei
:: chanel ::
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HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!! haha today went to school to do school dance and that was the end of story. lame right. you bet. waste my time lah. wanted to go back secondary school but decided to go home to sleep instead. INTENDED to go back at 1 with angel. but wahaha when i was about to go, angel said she was leaving rv le. oops. did't get to go back.. but nonetheless, i got to see quite alot of juniors at JEC. sigh. the rv terrority - the place was practically FLOODED with ex - rv ppl i tell you, esp the 2nd level sigh.
bleah. life sucks. getting my mood swings AGAIN. sigh. dun understand myself lah wth. really cannot stand myself. had a scary tot just now shan't elaborate but ya. the things that cross my mind are just ridiculous. sigh. life is getting sucky. wanna run away from school. yet to get back my papers but i think i screwed up. f***. sigh. kinda angry with my own incompetence.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who DO LOVE you.
tired. confused. troubled. lost. guilty. sad. worried. unsure. discontented. angry. hollow.
10 things i hate about you
wah came back from the chalet and had a 2 hour nap. really don't understand why i can't seem to sleep at chalets. kaoz. was awake the whole time at the chalet cuz in the bedroom, everyone was in one way or another, in a comfortable position... i tried to sleep at the foot of the bed.had to bend my feet at 90 degrees, dangling over the side of the bed. wah after a while, i lost all feelings in my leg, could not stand up and was momentary paralysised. scary scary.
haha. sigh. finally the last paper today. history. i think i did ok. the paper was predictable jus that i didn't really study for it. come to think about it. i should have just memorised my own blardie essay and i think that's it. why did i even bother to read my notes over and over again - when i didn't even understand.. puke.. watever lah. the econs paper was another big big thing. didn't make it to do the last essay qns. wanted to at least get 1 mark by drawing a graph but sadly had no time to do it. the last essay was 15marks. the whole paper was 60 marks i think. tsk tsk tsk. enough of common test. i think this is ridiculous. Promo is coming soon. fook man. this is just disgusting. just finished one set of tests and have to anticipate the next one that would most prob come in 5 weeks. i can't describe my life at this point of time.
sigh. boring shiat. today's econs paper was wonderfully a blur. don't know what i was doing lah. MCQ will pass but i can predict the score to be 9/15.. =( aiyah the whole paper, it's either i hit the jackpot or i just screwed it up lah.. sigh. thank god i have got the production and cost test to push my final grades up. watever. don't care le. anyway for tml's history. i am going to heck le. just going to read the notes tonight. wth.
woohoo~ today was the 1st day of common tests. how exciting can it get? 1st paper math. have to say i was proud of my 3D! wahaha sorry to all those who could not do it but.. ya. i rock! haha i guess that was the only part that i rocked cuz i think the rest of the paper was quite hard leh. especially the general solutions part. i was kinda blur there. wah alot of marks lah. my small angles also. screw it... was very relieved math is over. can't be bothered to think about my score. it's over. but i guess my full examption plan will fail... cannot get my 2A 1B le. =(
*poof* wah here i am in front of the computer typing woots.. wah i am very very bored from studying at home. want to go out to study but ain't got no companion. sigh. shall make do with the resources at home. room very cramp. there is such a term called overcrowding and it applies to my flat. share it with my 2 siblings. then within the limited roomspace, we have got to fit 2 computers, 3 desks, a closet, a bookshelf and a double bunk bed... wtf man.
oh ya, can't wait for the chalet after the common test. 1st stay over with the class. miss the euro game stayover with a2. this is going to make up for that. hopefully will have a great time and the chalet not too crowded or anything. wahaha. can't hardly wait. intend to go [window] shopping after CT. i think will plan to go on Wednesday. go home 1st after the CT. then meet to go out. =) yes ah... i love myself!!
wah sitting in front of my com, trying desperately to study history. but i just can't seem to focus. i bet if i go start on my econs now, i can mugg all the way till 3 am. but here i am walking all over the place, and looking into the fridge to look for food and deciding not to eat cuz it's too late at night to eat. hm but i think i will go cook that instant noodles later in the morning!! have to watch what i eat these days, no exercise sia..
wth!!!! i was looking into my mirror just now, trying to spot pimples. was glad i only found a small one on my forehead. got rid of it and was thankful that my complexion was not bad despite the stress. haha i sorta smiled to myself and suddenly all hell broke loose!! i spoiled horribly big eyebags!! wah. it has been damn long since i was last spotted with eye bags. URGH! wth. sian arh. i am going to make sure i get lots of sleep after the common tests. wah. wah. WAH!! 3,4 hours per day is taking their toll on me. not mentally but physically.. wah.
oops. realised that it has been almost a week since i last blogged. wah. becoming lazy lah. actually nothing much happened this week. trying to mug for the common test but i realised that i could not. my math is hopeless lah. do so slow lor. had a small math test today and realised that i forgot all my formulas again. well sort of. hope i don't screw up the test again. oh and my hearing skills have deteriorated lah. i could actually miss the class gossip!! zi guan ai ni. wah damnit lah..
sigh. today was also called the 'pissed me off' day.. don't know why. must be me again. i was pissed over some small piece of shit. but it was better at midday when i went to eat with a1 and a2. then decided to go town had asked geok to go and she said ok. then went orchard at 4.30, 5 and stayed there till 8.30. alone. don't ask why. i refuse to comment.. hence i was unable to study for mock tml. and it is at 7..30 wah damn funny lah
hmm haven't been updating for the past few days. cuz i don't really have the time. wah. didn't get proper sleep for 40+ hours. results of that is flu. wah i am getting my sore throat, cough and flu. wah best.. not much to blog these days. been having mood swings, and pissing myself =)common test coming soon, must be the stress lah..
hm. just read cy's blog. was thinking. want to umpire the next game? i hope i am going to ump the banni and bikila game. wah. see cy's black black face enough to make me feel guilty le. then ppl were telling me 'good umping' -_^ if i screwed up, how could it have been good? sighz. dun feel like umping le. anyway i didn't volunteer for it. sebaz put me in one. sighz. glad for the experience tho. it was really enriching.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
waited for everyone to arrive at the library. the plan had been to go play bball but 'the court was occupied' so we went to the library to study. and we really did study lah. met sarah(A2). she was also studying. hee hee.. but most importantly, i meet natalynn!!!! [ nat! if u are reading this, so happy to meet you today!!! woohoo~ ] wahaha. damn. looking at her made me think about 03A3. shikin, shihui, quenquen, michelle, angel , the two melissa-s, jas, nadz, mabel, even razali and zhengquan. sigh. can't forget the days seeing nat do battle with KCT, wahaha stop being frivalous!! sigh. those were the days. i will never forget. remember running away from jesselyn? skipping lesson and having the 5566 mass lecture? sigh. seriously miss you guys.. wah talking about u guys makes my heart ache man.
today was also photo taking day!!! took some photos with yeli in the toilet at je library and also quite a few in the study corner at the library. the 'vergingallteens' level of the library rock man. love the music, and u can do graffiti on the leather chairs. haha i think we are not supposed to do that but we did anyway. =) took some more photos with angel's cam and had sushi at EDO SUSHI. and the sushi sucks as bad as their service. bleah. no wonder nobody goes there to eat. and yes, i shall call clara. aunty clara. she will be hosting those evening talkshows for fellow aunties after she grads from mass com =) hi aunti!!
today was a wonderful day on the whole, met with the old mates and many ppl like nat, shunnan, jingyi, and some other insignificant ppl. sigh someone fell into the mrt tracks and that incident forced me to take a 1 1/2 hour busride home. sigh. how i wish such days would come more often. then i would be happy more often.
jaded out
@ |10:08 PM|
sigh. when was i ever like that in the past? so damn mugger. wah i can't believe the change in me. seriously, i want to slack but there is this other part of me that wants to mug. wah am i suffering from split personality?
sometimes i get frustrated for no big deal. and recently the resentment is back. dun want to be captain, wished i wasn't retained, unhappy with every single thing, discontented. f*** lah. -sulking-
jaded out
@ |6:51 PM|
The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.
You are special- Don't EVER forget it."
jaded out
@ |6:42 PM|
these emotions more or less cover my feelings. i made a startling discovery about myself today. i have come to realise how useless i am, how heartless and how ignorant i can be.
i am almost a full fledged adult but i am quite unable to take care of myself, let alone others. i feel the burden and the responsibility even now. i tried to run away from the problem once and succeed only in making the problem bigger. now, the same problem has returned and grown to such a mammoth size, i am suffocating. i wish to remedy the situation but i realise can't start. i don't know how. there seems to be no beginning, no ending.
perhaps all i need is time. with time, i can work harder to tackle the problems and make up for lost time. Perhaps with time, the problem will burst like a big bubble and disappear. perhaps, perhaps perhaps...
may i be blessed with the will and determination to see myself through this period.
jaded out
@ |12:20 AM|
I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots,
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick;
It even makes me rhyme.
I hate it,
I hate the way you’re always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when u make me cry.
I hate it that you’re not around,
And the fact that you didn’t call.
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you.
Not even close,
Not even a little,
not even at all.
jaded out
@ |9:18 PM|
kinda disappointed with the chalet cuz it was sorta screwed up. waited super long just to reach the chalet. no shuttle service and we tried our luck, waiting for the bus. ended up taking cab - something we should have done ages ago. intended to reach at 7 ended up there at 8+. wah. food was not bad. then went up to play 2 rounds of cards. things took a turn after that.
simon decided to play alchol. benja and josh got drunk. josh was super drunk. lost control of his limbs and was talking nonsense. kinda scary lah sigh.. then spent rest of the night clearing up the mess. i think the chalet mood was lost somehow... i just want to say that i ABSOLUTELY HATE chalets where ppl bring alchol and ppl get drunk.
haha. i think josh will have to endure at least a month long worth of teasing from us. shall not describe the details. he was kinda cute at that point of time, childlike. we were all very enteratined. haha. funny funny. sigh. oh well. went shopping at orchard after the chalet. was hyper despite the lack of sleep. ate at pastamania. bought slippers with eu yee and elieen. haha. sigh. broke again.
jaded out
@ |6:24 PM|
i think it will be worse next year. at the same time this year, i would be facing the biggest exam in my life. a levels. sigh.. can't hardly wait. wah...
jaded out
@ |7:39 PM|
sigh. CT is making ppl unstable. i tink i am unstable lah. after the math test i was grinning myself silly - when i obviously had screwed it up. the expression on my face would give the impression i am going to do damn well lah. wah. something is wrong with me. wait. maybe not. haha looking at it from another point of view, it is just a form of stress relief. suddenly realised i have no plans for tml after the exam. maybe will go run track. really very restless these days. anyway i think simon is going to return us our papers on thursday. he marks freakingly fast lah. actually we got so many errors. it's very easy to mark also. sigh. oh well..
hmm saw jia xin today while studying with for econs. she's been having the sucicide tots. scary shiat lah. and we were talking about ways to kill yourself. wah why so stress? my god. want to help her but then don't know lah..
jaded out
@ |8:25 PM|
after that was chinese paper. was quite shagged after the math paper le. then i as tearing while doing the paper. forcing myself to stay awake to do the paper. the summary was wonderful. damn easy shiat, then did the close passage and nearly fainted. wah out of the 20 choices only understood 3. didn't know my chinese was that bad lah.. my compre was.. not sure. the mutliple choice was ok. let us see what i will get for chinese this time..
tml is econs and not done studying. PC. production and cost and taxes; wonderful lah. PC profits - blur blur one.. wth come what may man.... BRING IT ON!!!
jaded out
@ |6:53 PM|
sigh maybe if my grandparents didn't leave with us, i could get a room to myself or share it with sis. got more space to myself. been thinking about moving out of the house and renting a flat somewhere in Jurong and share it with some frens. just a tot, dun think i would ever dare to suggest it to dad. too costly le. =( but all that's just a dream. dream on. that wun happened. move on.
bro is preparing for O's.. i am preparing for promO's soon. sigh. books all over the place. i need to get out of the house.
jaded out
@ |1:07 PM|
jaded out
@ |11:40 PM|
wah sian. need to mug for CT. don't want to!! sigh. i think i will go eat my instant noodles now. then see if i can study history. i not then i am going to do econs. haha. then i am going to study econs all the way till after dinner time tml. after that will do some math and get my brain in math mode.. wait. tml also got chinese paper. wah. haha maybe after the math paper, i will go read the chinese idioims and do abit of the chinese workbook.
sigh. after this CT, promo comes in 5 weeks time. where did time fly to? why is it going so fast. damnit. promotion is just around the corner, and it means that we will be going to j2 soon. pressure cooker year! here i come!!
jaded out
@ |11:31 PM|
got back my econs test on production and costs. wah i have to say i am damn happy with myself. 33.5/40. wahah when did my econs become so pro sia. wah i was 1 mark away from getting full score for mcq. sigh. but still i am happy and contented. went home to brag to mom. wahah. the test results came in time. bro was bragging to about his o level chinese grade - A2. (-_-') haha he mugged for it so yup. haha. hopefully i would be able to go for the chalet on next friday. maybe going to tell mom and see her reaction. haha if cannot then ask dad. wahahhaa!! will go mug for common tests. sigh. starts monday. not prepared for history. oops.
jaded out
@ |6:27 PM|
haha anyway, finally cleared my history hw, still got my math and econs. wah seriously the budget airline essay was dued millions of years ago is still undone. will do tonight. then in total i think i have 4 - 5 econs essays yet to be done. wah. this is serious business. will see what i can do about it. after common test simon book a chalet wah! this is good lah. i am going to enjoy myself and hopefully i don't get into any mood swings. =P wahahah
damnit feeling sick again. just spent $12 today on cab fare cuz i had diareehao in the morning. must have been that blardie portugese egg tarts. damnit lah. when i was trying to pia my history essay, i really felt very sick, and nausous. xp. then just now in the afternoon, the stomache was damn bad lor.. wah, my body is not well. sigh. hopefully i can last till after the chalet then enjoy and fall sick!! muahahaha..
jaded out
@ |8:10 PM|
tml got training at 2.30 to 5. wah. have training so late. i end the test at 9 plus lah. wah not funny..
jaded out
@ |9:40 PM|
was looking through my stuff today i made a startling discovery!!! i lost my ring.. and i didn't even know it was lost till just now.. wonder wonder.. wah, though it was not some very expensive ring but then it had my name on it and i bought it to remind me of something close to my heart. now it's gone. haha i have decided not to wear the chunky ring i got on my 17th birthday and the christmas present from geok, in case i lose them without knowing... maybe i will buy myself a new ring the next time i go shopping.. hmm... forgot my finger size.. 17? 18? hmm.. 17 i think.. wah. sian.
common test approaching. made a promise to go orchard after that. or maybe tml. but i have got no cash to shop lah. want to go orchard. have to start scouting for alot of new stuff. wahaha. hmm i wonder why i am spending so much money this year.. shopping list includes: new slippers (not sure budget), plain ring(less than $10), bag, pencilbox (ard $20), sheena's b dae present($20), mel's b dae present ($20), MP3!! haha feel like asking mom for shopping money.. should i? i never ask from her before... $200 enough? that would include the history textbook ($50++), and the calculator($30+) that i need to buy.. the old one dying le. wahahha but then at the end of the day.. always cannot find the design i like.. wah. sian.
jaded out
@ |7:47 PM|
am supposed to study for math and econs test tml. so far i am almost done with econs. not sure if i am going to study math.. i am so dead. maybe burn oil tonight? scarly wake up looking like the dead. and all the efforts put into studying will go to waste.. wth. don't care le.
yesterday was supposed to have the last match for interhouse. then it rained again. then there was also the combined school's training. ms gong told me that they are going to use the field at 2. then cannot have the interhouse cuz got ppl practising discus and javaline... so we postponed it. haha and guess what. it stopped raining and the nobody was onthe field at 11! we had our training instead. everyone took turns to hit and everyone fielded the balls. something was very wrong with me that day. i kept missing the balls that were so close. cuz they were so close, the moment i missed the ball, i was hit. i was hit in the shin thrice. the area swelled. sigh. i finally stopped and watched ppl field the balls. i just stoned on the track. alot of other ppl were hit too. but not like me.. same spot thrice.. =(
they played with mud and baoyue was smeared like nobody's business. thank god for my injury or else i would have gone brown as well.
jaded out
@ |4:25 PM|